PLEASE READ THIS ENTIRE MESSAGE IF YOU LOVE YOUR CHILDREN

From: Andy Mitchell (andy@soft.co.nz)
Date: Thu Aug 09 2001 - 12:54:21 CEST

  • Next message: Koit Similar: "Re: PLEASE READ THIS ENTIRE MESSAGE IF YOU LOVE YOUR CHILDREN"

    Hmm... y'all remember this right?

    > From: "Pedro Cevallos" <pedro_cevallos@hotmail.com>
    > Subject: Are Boards of Canada pedophiles?
    >
    > I thought the use of children's voices and images in their first album was
    > interesting but I thought it was a tad too much in their last EP. What's
    > even worse is that when I went to their web site most of the pictures they
    > have are of children -- granted, they are never nude or antything like that,
    > but I really think they need to get off the children motif. Am I the only
    > one here that thinks that way?

    Well check this crazy assed mail that found its way to me today.
    Boy, the internet is a strange place at times... and it's a small world too,
    right Ped'? (ha ha! the irony!)

    > PARENTAL ACTION ALERT
    > -------- ------ -----
    >
    > - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - ) -
    > PLEASE READ THIS ENTIRE MESSAGE IF YOU LOVE YOUR CHILDREN
    > - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - ) -
    >
    >
    > TARGET: BOARD OF CANADA
    >
    > Dear readers,
    >
    > Thanks to the diligent efforts of renowned European researcher
    > Dr. P. Cevallos, a new threat to our children's lives and futures has
    been
    > unearthed. The purpose of this letter is to educate parents around the
    > world so they can take action against this menace, before it does more
    > harm!
    >
    > Perhaps you have heard the sounds of popular musical rock group
    > "BOARD OF CANADA" coming from your child's bedroom? Well you better
    take a
    > closer listen (and look!).. because this music is the music of
    PEDOPHILES!
    >
    > Pick up a copy of their latest CD, "MUSIC HAS THE RIGHT TO CHILDREN",
    and
    > the evidence is clear:
    >
    > * The title itself: Music (ie, the musicians) have the right to
    children.
    > YOUR children! Who knows where they will strike next to get at your
    > precious youngsters?
    >
    > * The cover depicts a group of FACELESS children. As any art historian
    > will tell you, whenever children or women are depicted without faces,
    it
    > is a clear indication of sexual desire and objectification on the part
    > of the artist, reducing the subject to a mere "body without a face", in
    > other words, a receptacle for sexual outlet only.
    >
    > It's also quite possible that the children on the cover are recent
    > victims of their sick desires, placed unidentifiably on the cover as
    > "trophies" to show other pedophiles. On the internet, pedophiles
    > regularly place hidden "marks" or "counters" on their pages to indicate
    > how many children they've preyed on.
    >
    > Ask yourself this: if they're not pedophiles, why didn't they show the
    > children's faces?
    >
    > * The CD is a light blue color, a color usual associated with YOUNG
    BOYS!!
    >
    > * The titles, which include red flags like "TELESCOPIC WORKSHOP",
    > "SIXTYNINE", "DO THE WHIRL", "PETE STANDING ALONE", all explicit
    > references to the disgusting acts they wish to perform. We can only
    pray
    > to God that young Pete was returned safely to his parents and not cut
    > into pieces and buried out behind the big barn.
    >
    > * The music itself is hypnotizing and bizarre, perfect for lulling young
    > children into a trance-like state. In some songs, the sounds of
    children
    > speaking and laughing can be heard. In one song in particular
    > ("AQUARIUM", what pedophile wouldn't like to keep children in their
    > homes as some people keep fish?), the word "orange" is repeated and
    > followed by the laughter of children. How many times has your precious
    > child been offered an orange or other treat in return for some "special
    > photographs"? This song is nothing but an instruction manual for child
    > abusers!
    >
    > The last song on the CD has a haunting voice talking about
    > constitutional rights and obscenity. Only perverts and smut-peddlers
    > need to hide behind this kind of drivel, so don't fall for it! No one
    > has the constitutional right to offend another person, especially not
    > CHILD MOLESTERS!
    >
    > The most horrible discovery we made was the song "ROYGBIV" (the Danish
    > for "child"). Using sophisticated audio analyis software, we were able
    > to detect PENIS-SHAPED sound-waves coming from stereo!! These horrible
    > phallic waves of audio energy are directed right at the level necessary
    > to probe and fondle innocent young bodies.
    >
    > * Other Board of Canada album titles are equally frightening: "IN A VAN
    > OUT IN THE COUNTRY", "PEEL SESSIONS" (a nickname often used by
    > pedophiles for the nude sessions they hold with young children).
    >
    > If you're not convinced, just take a look at more evidence:
    >
    > * Board of Canada are from the UK, a hotbed of pedophilic activity
    > (recently a group of doctors was arrested when it became known that
    they
    > regularly touched children while supposedly treating them for disease!)
    >
    > * Most pedophiles own CD players and can easily get access to Board of
    > Canada material.
    >
    > * There could be other negative effects too: fully 50% of children who
    > listened to Board of Canada score BELOW the median level in school.
    >
    > * On an internet bulletin board called IDM (we're not sure what that
    > stands for), pedophiles often gather to discuss techniques of luring
    > children with music. For example here are two actual submissions to
    this
    > bulletin board (warning they may SHOCK you!!)
    >
    > #1
    > ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    > Date: Sat, 4 Aug 2001 19:33:55 -0700 (PDT)
    > From: Chispas De Muerte <xxxxxxxx@yahoo.com>
    > Subject: Re: [idm] Are Boards of Canada pedophiles?
    >
    > You know I think a lot of BOC's formula for making those
    > sounds sort of triggers this " I feel like going for,
    > a kid around five or so,
    > milk that shit for all its worth.
    > ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    >
    > #2
    > ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    > Date: Sat, 4 Aug 2001 12:33:58 -0700 (PDT)
    > From: The soul that creates <xxxxxxxxxx@yahoo.com>
    > Subject: Re: [idm] Are Boards of Canada pedophiles? READ!
    >
    > Are you kidding!?
    > Boards of Canada (especially M.H.T.R.T.C.) to me seems
    > to be good time music...
    > encourage the listener to
    > captured,
    > CHILDREN!! HINT HINT....there is a message here...it
    > says loud and clear,
    > CHILDREN!!!!
    > ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    >
    > So if you're a parent and you care about your children like all parents
    do,
    > TAKE ACTION!!!!!!!!!! DESTROY all Board of Canada CDs and records, and
    > install filtering software on your PC so your children can't download
    > so-called illegal "MP-3" files! They may contain viruses that send your
    > address and phone number to pedophiles and other predators!
    >
    > - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - ) -
    > DO IT FOR THE CHILDREN!!!
    > - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - ) -



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