>If chain-letters annoy you as much as they annoy me then this may come in
handy. If you like chain-letters then it is directed at you!
>
>>
>> STANDARDIZED BONEHEAD REPLY FORM
>> (original by David Parsons)
>>
>>
>>I took exception to your recent ___ post to _________________________.
>> (newsgroup)
>> ___ email
>>
>>It was (check all that apply):
>>
>>___ lame.
>>___ stupid.
>>___ pathetic.
>>___ without question the most useless thing I have ever seen.
>>___ much longer than any worthwhile thought of which you may be capable.
>>
>>Your attention is drawn to the fact that:
>>
>>___ what you posted/said has been done before.
>> (Mark only if above checked)
>> ___ Not only that, it was also done better the last time.
>>___ your post/letter was a pathetic imitation of _____________________.
>> (net.personality)
>>___ your post/mail originated on FidoNet.
>>___ your post/mail originated on Delphi.
>>___ your post/mail originated on America On-Line.
>>___ your post/mail originated on GEnie.
>>___ your post/mail originated on Prodigy.
>>___ your post/mail originated on Compu$erve.
>>___ your post referred to the newsgroup as a Board, BBoard, BBS, or
>> Notesfile.
>>___ your post contained commercial advertising.
>> THE FINE FOR THIS IS $20. Please remit immediately to:
>> Usenet News
>> Network Security & Standards Patrol
>> 3 Cielo Vista Terrace
>> Monterey, CA 93940
>> or your posting privileges will be cancelled.
>>___ your post/letter contained numerous spelling errors.
>>___ your post/letter contained multiple grammatical errors.
>>___ YOUR POST CONTAINED EXCESSIVE CAPITALIZATION AND/OR PUNCTUATION!!!!!
>>___ your post contained no text whatsoever.
>>___ your post replied to a thread which is long since gone.
>>___ your post does not even come close to belonging in this newsgroup.
>>___ your post contains the following fallacies (mark all that apply):
>> ___ begging the question
>> ___ non sequitur
>> ___ red herring
>> ___ post hoc ergo proctor hoc
>> ___ slippery slope
>>___ you cross-posted unnecessarily.
>>___ you posted a "newgroup" message without Leader Kibo's permission.
>>___ you posted a "rmgroup" message without Bruce Becker's permission.
>>___ your post/letter was an obvious forgery.
>> (Mark only if above checked)
>> ___ It was done clumsily.
>>___ you have a lame login name.
>>___ your machine has a stupid name.
>>___ you quoted an article/letter in followup and added no new text.
>>___ you quoted an article/letter in followup and only added ___ lines
>> of text.
>>___ you quoted an article in followup and only added the line "I agree"
>> or "Me, too!!!"
>>___ you predicted the "Imminent Death of the Net[tm]".
>>___ you asked for replies via email because you "don't read this group".
>>___ you quoted unnecessary text (mark all that apply):
>> ___ the original poster's .sig
>> ___ four or five levels of previous quoting
>>___ your followup had nothing to do with the original post.
>>___ you flamed someone who has been around far longer than you.
>>___ you flamed someone who is far more intelligent and witty than you.
>>___ your lines are 80 columns wide or wider.
>>___ you failed to check the "Followups-To:" line.
>>___ your .sig is longer than four lines.
>> (Mark only if above checked)
>> ___ And your newsreader truncated it.
>>___ your .sig is ridiculous because (check all that apply):
>> ___ you listed ___ snail mail address(es).
>> (Mark only if above checked)
>> ___ you listed a nine-digit ZIP code.
>> ___ you listed ___ phone numbers for people to use in prank calls.
>> ___ you included a stupid disclaimer.
>> (Mark only if above also)
>> ___ your pathetic attempt at being witty in the disclaimer failed.
>> (Mark only if above also)
>> ___ Miserably.
>> ___ you included:
>> (Mark all that apply)
>> ___ a stupid self-quote.
>> ___ a stupid quote from a net.nobody.
>> ___ a Rush Limbaugh quote.
>> ___ a Dan Quayle joke.
>> ___ a reference to Beavis & Butthead.
>> ___ lame ASCII graphic(s) (Choose all that apply):
>> ___ USS Enterprise
>> ___ Australia
>> ___ The Amiga logo
>> ___ Company logo
>> (Mark only if above also)
>> ___ and you stated that you don't speak for your employer.
>> ___ Bicycle
>> ___ Bart Simpson
>>
>>Furthermore:
>>
>>___ You have greatly misunderstood the purpose of ________________________.
>> (newsgroup)
>>___ You have greatly misunderstood the purpose of the net.
>>___ You are a loser.
>>___ You must have spent your entire life in a skinner box to be this
>> clueless.
>>___ *plonk*
>>___ You are something to hold a telethon for.
>>___ This has been pointed out to you before.
>>___ It is recommended that you:
>> (Mark all that apply)
>> ___ stop being a bonehead.
>> ___ stick to FidoNet and come back when you've grown up.
>> ___ find a volcano and throw yourself in.
>> ___ get a gun and shoot yourself.
>> ___ stop reading Usenet news and get a life.
>> ___ stop sending email and get a life.
>> ___ go argue this unresolvable topic somewhere else until
>> you're blue in the face.
>> ___ consume excrement.
>> ___ consume excrement and thus expire.
>>
>>Additional comments:
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>
Yours sincerely (with peace and love),
Simon Brown
s.j.brown@ucl.ac.uk
UCL Geology (2nd year)