jim@zapgift.com
Sat, 29 May 1999 10:16:10 -0700 (PDT)
ZAPGIFT.COM NEWS
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YOUR SILLY SLAMMER HEADQUARTERS ON THE NET
JUNE 1999
To Unsubscribe from NEWS see bottom of this letter.
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NEWS Contents
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1) Kids Make Us Laugh!
2) Special for Our Canadian Friends
3) New Slammers this Month!
4) Funnys from www.zapgift.com
5) Fitz & Tantrums are Back!
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1) KIDS MAKE US LAUGH!
On the first day of school, the Kindergarten teacher said, "If
anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers."
A little voice from the back of the room asked, "How will that
help?"
A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and
began putting away the groceries. The boy opened the box of animal
crackers and spread them all over the table.
"What are you doing?" his mother asked.
"The box says you can't eat them if the SEAL is broken," the boy
explained. "I'm looking for the SEAL."
A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read,
"The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the
city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt."
His son asked, "What happened to the flea?"
A four-year-old girl was learning to say the Lord's Prayer. She
was reciting it all by herself without help from her mother.
She said, "And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some
e-mail. AMEN"
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2) SPECIAL FOR OUR CANADIAN FRIENDS!
We ship GLOBAL PRIORITY MAIL for all international orders.
For orders to Canada, now to the end of June, SAVE $3.00 on any
order over $20.00...AUTOMATICALLY. We'll pay the first $3.00 of
your shipping, so you can SAVE over our already lowest prices!
See our shipping page at www.ZapGift.com.
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3) NEW SLAMMERS THIS MONTH!
We now have the OFFICE SILLY SLAMMERS series, with a SPECIAL
PACK available so you can grab them all! These slammers are
more fun when they all group together at the office!
Watch for new SPORTS SILLY SLAMMERS coming this month: Baseball,
Football, Basketball and Hockey slammers....appearing in June!
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4) FUNNYS FROM ZAPGIFT.COM
Kiss the other cheek...!
A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's
face was severely burned.
The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin
from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered
to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his
body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from
his buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell
no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the
doctor also honour their secret. After all, this was a very delicate
matter.
After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the
woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had
before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about
her youthful beauty!!
One day, she was alone with her husband and she was overcome with
emotion at his sacrifice.
She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for
me. There is no way I could ever repay you."
"My Darling," he replied, "think nothing of it. I get all the
thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."
WHY I HIRED MY SECRETARY !
Mr. Larsen got himself a new secretary. She was young, sweet and
very polite. One day while taking dictation, she noticed his fly was
open. When leaving the room, she said, "Mr. Johnson, your barracks
door is open."
He did not understand her remark, but later on he happened to look
down and saw that his zipper was open. He decided to have some fun
with his secretary, calling her in, he asked, "By the way, Miss Jones,
when you saw my barracks door was open this morning, did you also
notice a soldier standing at attention?"
The secretary, who was quite witty, replied, "Why, no sir, all I saw
was a little disabled veteran sitting on two duffel bags."
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5) FITZ AND TANTRUMS ARE BACK!
These are the SILLY SLAMMERS that caught our attention when we
first thought of an Internet Store! And now, after a long period
of not being available, we have them again, and the smaller clip-on
versions too! Take a look at them -- www.ZapGift.com .
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HAVE A FUN DAY! WWW.ZAPGIFT.COM
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