[acid-jazz] FW: TR : You lookin at me?

From: Park, James R S (jrspar_at_essex.ac.uk)
Date: 2003-02-19 12:46:04

  • Next message: Ontix_at_aol.com: "Re: [acid-jazz] FW: TR : You lookin at me?"

    This is way off-topic, my apologies.

    "I'm really excited by George Bush's latest reason for
    bombing Iraq: he's running out of patience. And so am
    I! For some time now I've been really p*ssed off with
    Mr Johnson, who lives a couple of doors down the
    street. Well, him and Mr Patel, who runs the health
    food shop. They both give me queer looks, and I'm sure
    Mr Johnson is planning something nasty for me, but so
    far I haven't been able to discover what. I've been
    round to his place a few times to see what he's up to,
    but he's got everything well hidden. That's how
    devious he is.

     As for Mr Patel, don't ask me how I know, I just know
    - from very goodsources - that he is, in reality, a
    Mass Murderer. I have leafleted the street telling
    them that if we don't act first, he'll pick us off one
    by one.
    Some of my neighbours say, if I've got proof, why
    don't I go to the police? But that's simply
    ridiculous. The police will say that they need
    evidence of a crime with which to charge my
    neighbours. They'll come up with endless red tape and
    quibbling about the rights and wrongs of a pre-emptive
    strike and all the while Mr Johnson will be finalising
    his plans to do terrible things to me, while Mr Patel
    will be secretly murdering people. Since I'm the only
    one in the street with a decent range of automatic
    firearms, I reckon it's up to me to keep the peace.
    But until recently that's been a little difficult.
    Now, however, George W. Bush has made it clear that
    all I need to do is run out of patience, and then I
    can wade in and do whatever I want!

    And let's face it, Mr Bush's carefully thought-out
    policy towards Iraq is the only way to bring about international peace
    and security. The one certain way to stop Muslim fundamentalist suicide
    bombers targeting the US or the UK is to bomb a few Muslim countries
    that have never threatened us.
    That's why I want to blow up Mr Johnson's garage and
    kill his wife and children. Strike first! That'll
    teach him a lesson. Then he'll leave us in peace and
    stop peering at me in that totally unacceptable way.
    Mr Bush makes it clear that all he needs to know
    before bombing Iraq is that Saddam is a really nasty
    man and that he has weapons of mass destruction - even

     if no one can find them. I'm certain I've just as
    much justification for killing Mr Johnson's wife and
    children as Mr Bush has for bombing Iraq. Mr Bush's
    long-term aim is to make the world a safer place by eliminating 'rogue
    states' and terrorism'.

    It's such a clever long-term aim because how can you
    ever know when you've achieved it? How will Mr Bush
    know when he's wiped out all terrorists? When every
    single terrorist is dead? But then a terrorist is only
    a terrorist once he's committed an act of terror.
    What about would-be terrorists? These are the ones
    you really want to eliminate, since most of the known
     terrorists, being suicide bombers, have already
    eliminated themselves.

     Perhaps Mr Bush needs to wipe out everyone who could
    possibly be a future terrorist? Maybe he can't be
    sure he's achieved his objective until every Muslim fundamentalist is
    dead? But then some moderate Muslims might convert to fundamentalism.
    Maybe the only really safe thing to do would be for Mr Bush to
    eliminate all Muslims?

     It's the same in my street. Mr Johnson and Mr Patel
    are just the tip of the iceberg. There are dozens of
    other people in the street who I don't like and who -
    quite frankly - look at me in odd ways. No one will be
    really safe until I've wiped them all out. My wife
    says I might be going too far but I tell her I'm
    simply using the same logic as the President of the
    United States. That shuts her up.

     Like Mr Bush, I've run out of patience, and if that's
    a good enough reason for the President, it's good
    enough for me. I'm going to give the whole street two
    weeks - no, 10 days - to come out in the open and hand
    over all aliens and interplanetary hijackers,
    galactic outlaws and interstellar terrorist
    masterminds, and if they don't hand them over nicely
    and say 'Thank you', I'm going to bomb the entire
    street to kingdom come.

     It's just as sane as what George W. Bush is proposing
    - and, in contrast to what he's intending, my policy
    will destroy only one street.

     Terry Jones (ex-Monty Python)

    =====
    http://www.dustygroove.com/
    http://www.xlrecordings.com/mp3/other/lbplayer/
    http://www.workingabroad.com/
    http://www.dalailama.com/html/peace_nonviolence.html
    http://www.massiveattack.com
    http://www.eastcoastsurf.com/misc/reefcomp/
    http://www.greenpeace.com

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